Sunday, May 06, 2012
Granola
I know we just moved in, we are still getting settled, and kids aren't in the picture yet. But, they will be in a year or two, and when they happen, the people around me better get used to the reality that I will not be giving up my "granola" habits and I have some strong feelings about how kids should be raised. Do I think it will be perfect, easy or simple? Definitively no. Will this future child have only wooden, organic things? No. But I will try to have as few chemicals and cheap plastic things around. If it's a sunny day and this kid insists on playing a DS or whatever the handheld gaming device of the day is, then at least they can do it outside - because I know that there will be video games in this child's life. But there will be a balance. There will be playing in dirt and mud puddles and playing with plants and make believe and blocks and legos and books and painting and field trips and animals. There will be a concerted effort to have healthy, not so processed food, but I know there will be junk food too. Chances are this kid won't be a vegetarian like me - and I don't really care. If they want to be when they are old enough to decide then they'll need to have a balanced diet - and that's something I know I'll have to work on myself. While there might not be "church" in the strict sense of religion - there will be an understanding of spirituality, kindness, respect, and giving back to the community. I'll try and balance the consumerism with simplicity. I can't give this child the childhood I had - and it was a great childhood, but not perfect. I'll still lean "granola" as those people in my life like to call it in their disparaging way -but I don't think that's a bad thing. I'll strive to have a well mannered, respectful, polite child who keeps their sense of wonder and creativity, who likes to learn and play and experience. I'll strive to have firm and fair expectations, consistency and routines that have been shown to be helpful for children. I'll try to keep to a normal schedule with regular bedtimes, but I know that it won't always happen. Back to basics isn't a bad thing, and this "granola" life that some look down their noses at worked out pretty well for me.
Sunday, April 15, 2012
Home ownership
Now don't get me wrong, I really am enjoying living in our own place - not a rental, not a property owned by family members. And I love that it's a place that we get to make our own - it's not a place that one of us has lived in for years and the other person moves into their space. But home ownership is a lot of work and so far it's been expensive. It's the end of the 3rd weekend we've lived here and I wouldn't call us close to being done unpacking. Some rooms are close, the bedroom is probably the closet, or the guest room, my sewing room isn't bad (though, I have a feeling it's going to change arrangement shortly with the arrival of a "new to me" sewing machine and table so I haven't done the final touches). There are some rooms that are still almost completely in boxes - the "library" is one of those rooms, I haven't unpacked a single box of books. In the office my desk is now built but I haven't unpacked my computer yet, and Robert's desk hasn't even arrived so that area is still very much a work in progress. The room that is the least set up is the living room upstairs - the furniture is ordered, should get here this week, hopefully it is in better shape than the table (still waiting to hear back about that repair). Other than mowing the lawn this weekend no work has been done in the yard, but, for the most part it doesn't really need anything right now - there are summer projects that need to happen, but that isn't here or now. We've done our fair share (and then some probably) of stimulating the economy so there better be some growth on that front. My commute is different, but not bad, and Roberts is infinitely better. We are close to friends and family (well, Robert's family) and the house is really set up for the kinds of socializing that we do - boys downstairs, girls upstairs,. Solomon is so happy to have a fenced yard to run around in, though the cat is not pleased that we have a busier road making him an inside only cat. I definitely have some projects in mind for the summer - in the yard, decorating inside, etc, but for the most part, I think we will be settled in shortly after the rest of the furniture arrives - a good time to have a housewarming party I guess. It's not unlivable as it is though - there is more space than I know what to do with at the moment - which is good, we wanted a house we could grow into, and we have that - no plans for children yet, but when that decision does happen my sewing room will just move downstairs. I'll post pictures soon, but, I haven't taken any yet so it makes it hard to post them.
Friday, March 23, 2012
Kitchen
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
auction baskets
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| Our "Boy" Basket/Tub |
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
Briana Buholm's Baby Projects
I admit it. I love sewing baby things. And so far I haven't had a lot of excuses to make little girl things. But, I did recently. I have also found that sewing really de-stresses me, which I have needed quite a bit this school year - not because of the kids, but because of the other things going on related to school. I completely disengage from my worries when I sew and focus just on what I'm doing - which is so helpful sometimes. So, not only did I get to unwind a bit, but I got to finally sew some of the adorable girly things that I've been wanting to sew. So, here's what I've been up to sewing for the yet unnamed Baby Buholm.
First project is a little baby cotton kimono. I had this fabric left over from a skirt I had made and already had the green binding. It has a tie on one side, and a button on the inside to secure it.
The second project is a flannel lined sleep sack. It velcros along the side so you can easily put the baby inside for a nap. This project actually was the second version. I had made a mistake with the first one using the wrong marking pen (and then mistakenly sett the ink by ironing it) so I had to scrap the first version, but, I had the right fabric in my stash to make another one (and I actually like this one a bit better). But again, I didn't have to buy anything to do this project.
This project is a pair of baby Mary Jane shoes with pink flowers on the toes made out of felt with pink ribbon ties and pink embroidery details. I stuffed the shoes with a bit of pink lace that I had around just so they could hold their form. Perhaps not so practical for walking outside, but, really, how many baby shoes actually are used for walking?
Then there are the obligatory burp clothes. These are a bit different from the ones I have made in the past. This time I used prefolded cloth diapers as the main part. Then I used flannel scraps to make them girly down the middle (just serging the edges to avoid raveling). Finally, I used grosgrain ribbon that I had to add embellishment and an extra little pop. Flannel fabric used featured fashion accessories, polka dots and flowers.
The last project, is actually the first one I created. Every baby needs a special quilt made JUST for them. I know Briana loves pink, and since she is having a girl I thought that would be a good starting point - something girly and pink. So I thought and I thought and I thought. And I looked at books and ideas, because I didn't want to do the same style I have used in the past. For whatever reason, maybe because I knew Briana was going to basically be raising this baby on her own while dad is up in Alaska, or something else I wanted to do something special. I decided on this modified 9 square quilt. I ended up finding a charm pack that I really liked (pre-cut squares all from the same collection so they all go together). The charm pack used a lot of pink, and I wanted the pink to pop so I decided to do the background, binding and accent color in gray. Now, I didn't quite realize how hard it was to match grays. Thankfully, the ladies at Keepsake Fabrics in Country Village were super helpful and they probably pulled every single plain gray and print gray fabric in the store so we could match the right color. I do love that store - they are incredibly wonderful to their customers and know so much about fabric. I decided on super soft bright pink minky for the backing as the front was more subdued and retro feeling. My dear friend and co-worker Ruth did the actual quilting of the front to the backing in this lovely thread that changes from gray to shades of pink (I can't remember the name of the kind of thread at the moment).
So those were the projects. At least the ones that I had ready for the shower. I figured though, that I needed some sort of indication that these were made by me. So after some searching and creative thinking, I created my own labels. I used a picture of a Newfoundland (because of Solomon the dog) and found the perfect font for my name. I basically printed these mirror image on the special paper that you iron onto fabric. I ironed them onto ivory satin ribbon that I had, melted the edges so they wouldn't fray and then sewed them onto the already finished projects. I wouldn't do that again - the sewing the labels on after they are finished. Next time I'll incorporate them into the actual sewing of the garment.
There is one more project to do, and this is one I couldn't do before the shower because it is a baby shower quilt. I cut out squares of the cream fabric for guests to decorate for the baby at the shower. The other fabric will be the binding, border and contrasting squares (going for a simple checkerboard pattern). I'll probably go with fleece for the backing. but I haven't picked it out yet, I'll wait until the top is done.
First project is a little baby cotton kimono. I had this fabric left over from a skirt I had made and already had the green binding. It has a tie on one side, and a button on the inside to secure it.
The second project is a flannel lined sleep sack. It velcros along the side so you can easily put the baby inside for a nap. This project actually was the second version. I had made a mistake with the first one using the wrong marking pen (and then mistakenly sett the ink by ironing it) so I had to scrap the first version, but, I had the right fabric in my stash to make another one (and I actually like this one a bit better). But again, I didn't have to buy anything to do this project.
Project three actually required that I go out and get fabric as my flannel stash is mostly little bits of fabric, nothing big enough to make a receiving blanket out of. But, it did give me a chance to peruse the lovely flannel section at Pacific Fabrics. The first one (far right) is a bright pink with little white lambs (and a few black ones) with flowers. Then pink daisys (this one is sooo soft), then there is a cream background with little hats, dresses shoes and purses on it - so very girly. And the last one I picked out because I had seen pictures of the baby room and it was pink with green accents - so I picked out this flannel because of it's green background and pink flowers.
This project is a pair of baby Mary Jane shoes with pink flowers on the toes made out of felt with pink ribbon ties and pink embroidery details. I stuffed the shoes with a bit of pink lace that I had around just so they could hold their form. Perhaps not so practical for walking outside, but, really, how many baby shoes actually are used for walking?
Then there are the obligatory burp clothes. These are a bit different from the ones I have made in the past. This time I used prefolded cloth diapers as the main part. Then I used flannel scraps to make them girly down the middle (just serging the edges to avoid raveling). Finally, I used grosgrain ribbon that I had to add embellishment and an extra little pop. Flannel fabric used featured fashion accessories, polka dots and flowers. 
The last project, is actually the first one I created. Every baby needs a special quilt made JUST for them. I know Briana loves pink, and since she is having a girl I thought that would be a good starting point - something girly and pink. So I thought and I thought and I thought. And I looked at books and ideas, because I didn't want to do the same style I have used in the past. For whatever reason, maybe because I knew Briana was going to basically be raising this baby on her own while dad is up in Alaska, or something else I wanted to do something special. I decided on this modified 9 square quilt. I ended up finding a charm pack that I really liked (pre-cut squares all from the same collection so they all go together). The charm pack used a lot of pink, and I wanted the pink to pop so I decided to do the background, binding and accent color in gray. Now, I didn't quite realize how hard it was to match grays. Thankfully, the ladies at Keepsake Fabrics in Country Village were super helpful and they probably pulled every single plain gray and print gray fabric in the store so we could match the right color. I do love that store - they are incredibly wonderful to their customers and know so much about fabric. I decided on super soft bright pink minky for the backing as the front was more subdued and retro feeling. My dear friend and co-worker Ruth did the actual quilting of the front to the backing in this lovely thread that changes from gray to shades of pink (I can't remember the name of the kind of thread at the moment). 
So those were the projects. At least the ones that I had ready for the shower. I figured though, that I needed some sort of indication that these were made by me. So after some searching and creative thinking, I created my own labels. I used a picture of a Newfoundland (because of Solomon the dog) and found the perfect font for my name. I basically printed these mirror image on the special paper that you iron onto fabric. I ironed them onto ivory satin ribbon that I had, melted the edges so they wouldn't fray and then sewed them onto the already finished projects. I wouldn't do that again - the sewing the labels on after they are finished. Next time I'll incorporate them into the actual sewing of the garment.
There is one more project to do, and this is one I couldn't do before the shower because it is a baby shower quilt. I cut out squares of the cream fabric for guests to decorate for the baby at the shower. The other fabric will be the binding, border and contrasting squares (going for a simple checkerboard pattern). I'll probably go with fleece for the backing. but I haven't picked it out yet, I'll wait until the top is done. Thursday, December 01, 2011
Same Sex Marriage?
First, this post is not about sewing or projects or anything like that.
This video made me think this morning. Those of you that know me, I'm sure wouldn't be surprised that I fully support the idea of gay marriage. I'm on the liberal end of the spectrum. So when I was watching this video, it wasn't making me change an opinion, or rethink my view on a position.
What this video made me think about is the definition of family. It seems that a lot of people define a family as a married husband and wife and their children. Does that mean then that committed man and woman in a relationship, but not married in the eye of the state, who have children, are not a family? Does that mean that a war-widow raising her children on her own isn't a family because they don't have a husband and a wife? What about the single dad who is raising his children without the biological woman who is the mother of his children because she is incarcerated - are they not a family? What about the woman who decides that she wants to have children on her own - and gets a sperm donor, does she not have a family? What about the grandparents raising their grandchildren? Or the older siblings raising the younger ones?
What makes a family into a "family"? What is the purpose of marriage in terms of government? I'm not talking religious definition of marriage - religions can define it however they want, I believe that is their right, I'm talking about how the government defines marriage, the legal rights associated with it. There is freedom of religion in this country and that's a great thing in my mind - I might disagree with your religious beliefs, but I don't deny you that choice of your beliefs. If you offer legal marriage to one group of people you should offer it to all people, not discriminate, not by color, creed, age (if you are a consenting adult) or sexual orientation. I won't go into the issue of consenting polygamy here - so if you want to define marriage as between two adult people I'd be happy with that. But leave it at that. Let them decide who they want to spend their life with.
Because, why can't two women or two men raise a child? What makes them less than fit? If you say a child has to have a male parent and a female parent otherwise they are getting a disservice or something terrible is happening to them, that they aren't fit parents, then you need to equally consider the fitness of single moms, single dads, parents who are drug users, drug dealers, work-a-holics who are never home, grandparents raising their grand kids, parents who have nanny's raise their kids, etc. If your definition of what makes a good parenting situation is simply one man married to one woman, then you are discounting all the other types of "families" that have gone under the radar.
If you want to have this fight, then really have the fight - don't pick on just one small group of people and deny them rights you give to others, if you are going to deny rights do it across the board and see what happens then. Because I don't think you'll win. How does this hurt you? Maybe it doesn't conform with your beliefs, but does everything in the world conform to your beliefs? But don't make others second class citizens because of it.
This video made me think this morning. Those of you that know me, I'm sure wouldn't be surprised that I fully support the idea of gay marriage. I'm on the liberal end of the spectrum. So when I was watching this video, it wasn't making me change an opinion, or rethink my view on a position.
What this video made me think about is the definition of family. It seems that a lot of people define a family as a married husband and wife and their children. Does that mean then that committed man and woman in a relationship, but not married in the eye of the state, who have children, are not a family? Does that mean that a war-widow raising her children on her own isn't a family because they don't have a husband and a wife? What about the single dad who is raising his children without the biological woman who is the mother of his children because she is incarcerated - are they not a family? What about the woman who decides that she wants to have children on her own - and gets a sperm donor, does she not have a family? What about the grandparents raising their grandchildren? Or the older siblings raising the younger ones?
What makes a family into a "family"? What is the purpose of marriage in terms of government? I'm not talking religious definition of marriage - religions can define it however they want, I believe that is their right, I'm talking about how the government defines marriage, the legal rights associated with it. There is freedom of religion in this country and that's a great thing in my mind - I might disagree with your religious beliefs, but I don't deny you that choice of your beliefs. If you offer legal marriage to one group of people you should offer it to all people, not discriminate, not by color, creed, age (if you are a consenting adult) or sexual orientation. I won't go into the issue of consenting polygamy here - so if you want to define marriage as between two adult people I'd be happy with that. But leave it at that. Let them decide who they want to spend their life with.
Because, why can't two women or two men raise a child? What makes them less than fit? If you say a child has to have a male parent and a female parent otherwise they are getting a disservice or something terrible is happening to them, that they aren't fit parents, then you need to equally consider the fitness of single moms, single dads, parents who are drug users, drug dealers, work-a-holics who are never home, grandparents raising their grand kids, parents who have nanny's raise their kids, etc. If your definition of what makes a good parenting situation is simply one man married to one woman, then you are discounting all the other types of "families" that have gone under the radar.
If you want to have this fight, then really have the fight - don't pick on just one small group of people and deny them rights you give to others, if you are going to deny rights do it across the board and see what happens then. Because I don't think you'll win. How does this hurt you? Maybe it doesn't conform with your beliefs, but does everything in the world conform to your beliefs? But don't make others second class citizens because of it.
Monday, November 21, 2011
A Quilt for Baby MacDonald!
Quilt one is allllll done. Ruth did the swirly quilting for me - now the quilt has a fuzzy and soft pink polka dot fleece back. And the brown and white polka dot binding is around the edges so it's complete.
The baby that this quilt will go to is the future child of one of the guys Robert works with. I can't wait to give this quilt to Andy and Lori MacDonald for their new girl on the way!
Sunday, November 20, 2011
Figured out #3.
I've been ruminating over the third baby quilt for weeks now. Looking through books and magazines, looking at websites, even looking on etsy to see other people's projects. There have been plenty of things that I have been interested in - either for me personally or for this baby project. All of them got rejected for one reason or another - too complicated / time consuming for my time frame, don't have the right fabric stash for some of the scrappier quilts, too big, too blah, nice pattern but wrong for the situation, etc. Quilts have been on my brain though - it keeps me from stressing out too much about other things (and I've been seeing the typical overly-stressed signs for a while now - my massage therapist said I had the tightest neck they'd ever seen - and that wasn't a good thing). I've been dreaming about quilts even.
I went to Pacific Fabrics on Veterans Day and got the other two quilts fabric - but couldn't come up with anything that spoke to me. So today, as I was getting the fleece for the back of one of the other quilts I came across a cute little booklet that finally inspired me. And I knew Joann's (as much as they are great for some things) just wouldn't have the right fabrics for what I wanted. So, down to Country Village I went to visit Keepsake Cottage Fabric because they will always have what you need.
I love that place - not only because it's in a big barn -but because the people who work there are SOOOOO helpful and friendly and give you such great service. I found a "charm" pack that I thought was absolutely darling with it's pinks, and taupes and golden colors, found some shades of gray that go with it for the backgrounds and borders and binding.
Now I just need to interpret some instructions that are a bit confusing to me (I'll check with Ruth she's amazing at things like that) and get started when I need some more un-stressing.
Saturday, November 19, 2011
Thanksgiving-less
For the first time I can remember in my life, there is no plan for anything special for Thanksgiving. For the majority of my years the day was spent with my immediate family - mom, dad, and brother. Lots of pumpkin pie, and vegetarian staples. I can remember one year we were moving shortly after Thanksgiving and we spent it with friends, but still, it was with family and it was special. Then there was the one year in the apartment in Bellingham with Hoopla and Kestra where we made the garlic mashed potatoes that were divine and paired them with burritos and went to the movies. Still, a special day. There was a year in Yelm with a family that was not mine that I thought was something more than it turned out to be, but still, it was planned, and it was a special day. There was the year I arrived back in Spokane at some ungodly early hour after far too many hours in the backseat of a far to small car - but, it was spent with family and special in its own way. And there were the number of years in Seattle - with Robert's family and friends. But this year, it turns out, we have no plans at all. What we thought was going to happen was changed, or canceled, or, something. I don't know the details, nor do I really want to, I'm feeling bereft as it is. This is one of my favorite holidays - maybe because it never was ruined with the commercialism the haunts other holidays thereby making it one that my parents actually celebrated fully. It is a holiday filled with cooking together, wonderful smells, hearty food, and a feeling of thankfulness and appreciation that seems to get lost in the other holidays. I could make up some special food on Thursday, I have the day off after all, but, it's not the same without other people to share it with, and Robert doesn't have Wednesday or Friday off so going out of town just doesn't work. So I'm feeling a bit heartbroken and sad about the loss of this special holiday this year.
Friday, November 11, 2011
Babies, babies and more babies
There are now at least three babies on the way that I feel the need to make things for. There are more than three on the way, but, three I want to make something special for. So, after feeling good after my first cohort meeting, and taking advantage of a sale at one of my favorite fabric stores, I have bought fabric for two of the three babies. I just didn't find what I was looking for for baby #3, nor could I decide on what exactly I wanted to do with the yet to be found fabric. But here is what I did find. I think I have a dot thing going on today.
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| The fabric on the right is a dark brown (not black) polka dot |
Monday, October 24, 2011
Unfocused
I'm having a really hard time wrapping my brain around everything that's going on. I'm in putting out fires mode - doing what has to be done at the moment with no real sense of a plan. I can't figure out how to start and that's my biggest hurdle right now. It's hard to get momentum going when your wheels are spinning. Problem is, I don't really have the time to spin my wheels. I'm beginning to think that this was a really really bad idea.
Sunday, October 16, 2011
National Boards
Time has passed really fast, and yet, oddly slowly. Part of me doesn't feel like this is my fourth year full time teaching. And really it isn't, technically I'm only starting year four around now, mid October, since I wasn't hired until then, before that it was a long-term sub job taking over for a teacher who got a job in her children's school district on the first day of school. So, a crazy first year teaching 5th grade, then moving to 6th grade with a lot of the same kids I had the year before. And then I did 6th grade again, and now again. So I guess I'm getting better at it. I "lost" my job in April the first two years, but had it back before the end of the school year.
Even though I've done this for a couple of years now, I tend to feel like I'm not particularly good at it. There's a complex about that, I can't remember what it's called. But I usually think that about myself - not just with teaching - that I'm not particularly good at whatever it is. BUT, the State has it's rules regarding the type of certificate I have (which I'm sure is different from the kids they are issuing now) and so I knew I needed to go through the process of getting my professional certificate, and I tried to, last year, because I knew that they were going to change the process, and I much preferred the old method. BUT, that October hire date got in my way, I hadn't been teaching long enough to do it, despite the fact that I had been doing all the teaching from day two and should quality. So I had to wait another year. To this year.
Pro-Teach (the new version of Professional Certificate) was looking like the way to go The process looks scary, the concept of video taping myself has always given me a case of nausea. I can do classes, classes don't scare me, I learn a lot. But classes weren't the process anymore. And I had another year really to start, I didn't have to do it THIS year, this is just the first year I could do it, I could procrastinate another year, get more confident, become a better teacher - I may not be the most confident, but I still don't like failure.
So how did I end up signing up for the National Boards? Something I thought I'd do eventually - in another five year maybe when the Pro-Teach certificate expired. All I've heard about National Boards are how they are so hard, how few people pass, how it consumes your life (and my time management isn't always the greatest). Peer pressure was part of it - plenty of people in my school think I can do it, the union president last year seemed surprised that I wasn't going to do it, that she had heard all these things about me. So, essentially, I caved. And it scares me, a lot.
I'm scared / angry / sad that I have to give up doing the things I love for a year, to do this process. The things that make me happy, because I won't have time to do both, that is, if I want to pass. And there are sure benefits to passing - the ten years of not having to deal with my certificate, the (so far un-cut) stipend from the state, and I suppose most importantly, the learning about myself and my teaching that comes from the process, the process that will hopefully turn me into a teacher that I am proud to be.
So, I look down the hall, to my newly covered sewing machines - glad that they now have covers because I probably won't be able to use them for a good long while. Not use them to make the two skirts I bought fabric for this summer, not to finish the many projects I've already started. Not to do one of my favorite things - making baby quilts and baby things for two babies on their way in February and March. I know these babies will have so much love showered on them, and won't be lacking in wonderful things just for them, but I love making things for babies, thinking about the mommies and daddies who will be loving them, thinking about the personalities that might show up and trying to incorporate that into what I make. I feel like there is so much love put into the things I make, that the babies that use them feel somehow. It helps me feel connected to people, to make me feel a tiny part of someone's life, because so often I feel alone. And it's hard to give up that connected feeling for a year or more (probably more than a year because I don't know if I'll pass the first time around, a lot of people don't).
So maybe that's why I teach, to feel connected to other people. I've never been the best person at being social. At my "high point" of being social, I had only a handful of people that I truly felt connected to and who were connected to me. I have a hard time, I'm too different, I don't have enough in common with people, and it's hard to make new friends for me. And I feel it's important, to teach, I love working with kids, I've always loved working with kids - it's adults I have a harder time with. Teaching connects me with other teachers, and it connects me with so many great kids. And even if I fail this thing, if I can't pass, then at least I will be more connected to myself - I'll learn about me, become aware of my strength, and my weaknesses and it will allow me to become better at this career path, since it's one of the few places I feel I belong. And, I'll send mental love to those babies, to those babies who are so wanted and for some, so longed for, knowing that they will be cared for so well, knowing that they will have all they need, and what I'd make for them will just become another thing.
Maybe when I get done with this process, if I get done with this process, I'll have time to take charge of my non-school life. I have a husband I love, and a couple of the greatest friends a girl could want if only they were physically closer, and usually that's enough. But sometimes it's not. And maybe I'll be given the freedom and ability to pursue what's missing. But for now, for now I have to dive into this full force, to put nearly everything else on back burners, to give up things that make me happy to do this right. I think I'll be OK, I think it will all work out. I just don't know how right now.
Even though I've done this for a couple of years now, I tend to feel like I'm not particularly good at it. There's a complex about that, I can't remember what it's called. But I usually think that about myself - not just with teaching - that I'm not particularly good at whatever it is. BUT, the State has it's rules regarding the type of certificate I have (which I'm sure is different from the kids they are issuing now) and so I knew I needed to go through the process of getting my professional certificate, and I tried to, last year, because I knew that they were going to change the process, and I much preferred the old method. BUT, that October hire date got in my way, I hadn't been teaching long enough to do it, despite the fact that I had been doing all the teaching from day two and should quality. So I had to wait another year. To this year.
Pro-Teach (the new version of Professional Certificate) was looking like the way to go The process looks scary, the concept of video taping myself has always given me a case of nausea. I can do classes, classes don't scare me, I learn a lot. But classes weren't the process anymore. And I had another year really to start, I didn't have to do it THIS year, this is just the first year I could do it, I could procrastinate another year, get more confident, become a better teacher - I may not be the most confident, but I still don't like failure.
So how did I end up signing up for the National Boards? Something I thought I'd do eventually - in another five year maybe when the Pro-Teach certificate expired. All I've heard about National Boards are how they are so hard, how few people pass, how it consumes your life (and my time management isn't always the greatest). Peer pressure was part of it - plenty of people in my school think I can do it, the union president last year seemed surprised that I wasn't going to do it, that she had heard all these things about me. So, essentially, I caved. And it scares me, a lot.
I'm scared / angry / sad that I have to give up doing the things I love for a year, to do this process. The things that make me happy, because I won't have time to do both, that is, if I want to pass. And there are sure benefits to passing - the ten years of not having to deal with my certificate, the (so far un-cut) stipend from the state, and I suppose most importantly, the learning about myself and my teaching that comes from the process, the process that will hopefully turn me into a teacher that I am proud to be.
So, I look down the hall, to my newly covered sewing machines - glad that they now have covers because I probably won't be able to use them for a good long while. Not use them to make the two skirts I bought fabric for this summer, not to finish the many projects I've already started. Not to do one of my favorite things - making baby quilts and baby things for two babies on their way in February and March. I know these babies will have so much love showered on them, and won't be lacking in wonderful things just for them, but I love making things for babies, thinking about the mommies and daddies who will be loving them, thinking about the personalities that might show up and trying to incorporate that into what I make. I feel like there is so much love put into the things I make, that the babies that use them feel somehow. It helps me feel connected to people, to make me feel a tiny part of someone's life, because so often I feel alone. And it's hard to give up that connected feeling for a year or more (probably more than a year because I don't know if I'll pass the first time around, a lot of people don't).
So maybe that's why I teach, to feel connected to other people. I've never been the best person at being social. At my "high point" of being social, I had only a handful of people that I truly felt connected to and who were connected to me. I have a hard time, I'm too different, I don't have enough in common with people, and it's hard to make new friends for me. And I feel it's important, to teach, I love working with kids, I've always loved working with kids - it's adults I have a harder time with. Teaching connects me with other teachers, and it connects me with so many great kids. And even if I fail this thing, if I can't pass, then at least I will be more connected to myself - I'll learn about me, become aware of my strength, and my weaknesses and it will allow me to become better at this career path, since it's one of the few places I feel I belong. And, I'll send mental love to those babies, to those babies who are so wanted and for some, so longed for, knowing that they will be cared for so well, knowing that they will have all they need, and what I'd make for them will just become another thing.
Maybe when I get done with this process, if I get done with this process, I'll have time to take charge of my non-school life. I have a husband I love, and a couple of the greatest friends a girl could want if only they were physically closer, and usually that's enough. But sometimes it's not. And maybe I'll be given the freedom and ability to pursue what's missing. But for now, for now I have to dive into this full force, to put nearly everything else on back burners, to give up things that make me happy to do this right. I think I'll be OK, I think it will all work out. I just don't know how right now.
Sunday, September 11, 2011
10 years ago
What happened 10 years ago will always be in my mind, I'll always remember how I felt that day, the fear and uncertainty that came hand in hand. Knowing things were never going to be the same. I was in a time of transition personally - having graduated high school, and not set to start at Western for a few more weeks. I wondered how was this going to change my still very uncertain future. I remember wanting to drive over the high school, to get my freshman brother out of his class and hug him to make sure he was OK, even though I knew he was as OK as any of us were across the county. And those feelings and memories are still strong.
The students in my class this year have always known a post 9/11 world. They were alive that day, little tiny children. Most of my class this year has birthdays in 2000, with a few in late '99. Next year there will be students who have always lived in this new world. Their parents were probably wondering, what world will they grow up to inherit? They've spent their whole life hearing what 9/11 was, seeing the images. But do they understand what all of us felt that day?
Did people who lived through Pearl Harbor have this same bag of mixed emotions? I know Pearl Harbor Day is one of those days on the calendar that largely goes unnoticed by me, and yet it changed the course of so many things worldwide. Will that be the future of 9/11?
The students in my class this year have always known a post 9/11 world. They were alive that day, little tiny children. Most of my class this year has birthdays in 2000, with a few in late '99. Next year there will be students who have always lived in this new world. Their parents were probably wondering, what world will they grow up to inherit? They've spent their whole life hearing what 9/11 was, seeing the images. But do they understand what all of us felt that day?
Did people who lived through Pearl Harbor have this same bag of mixed emotions? I know Pearl Harbor Day is one of those days on the calendar that largely goes unnoticed by me, and yet it changed the course of so many things worldwide. Will that be the future of 9/11?
Saturday, August 27, 2011
School year creativity?
Is school year creativity going to happen? This year, I don't know if it will. My inclination to do creative things drops substantially during the school year under the best of circumstances, but this year I think it may die completely. 31 was going to be a lot of kids, 33 is obviously going to be more. (Side note: between the two 6th grade classes we are going to have 64 kids so I think we we should have two classes of 32, a nice even number, can break it into a number of different sized groups, etc etc, BUT NO, it's 31 and 33 because of the idiosyncratic nature of trigger and how they don't really want to pay us more despite it being better for the students - but I digress). So, I think I may need to do some serious thinking about homework assignments and how I grade things because it's not my favorite activity in the world to begin with, and now it just may be push me over the edge. My brain however refuses to cooperate with me this morning, so if anyone has any ideas please let me know. (My brain thinks something with technology would be good, but isn't sure what it is yet). I'm also trying to figure out how how I want to deal with the Meghan P. / Megan P. issue - I'm thinking last names for those two unless they have a nickname that they go by.
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Serger and Sewing Machine Covers
About the same time I learned to use my serger I realized just how dirty it was. It had clearly been left out where it got dusty and dirty. Sadly it wasn't the kind of dirty and dusty that you can take a swiffer to and be done. This was a greasy dusty dirty coat on everything that required some serious cleaning. Once I had it done, I decided I really never wanted to do that again, and as I didn't have any other case to put my machines in when not in use I decided to make some covers for both machines.
I knew I didn't need to buy a pattern based on what I wanted (no pockets, no slits or anything fancy at all) and all machines are slightly different anyways. So I literally traced the outline of the five sides (4 sides and top) onto newsprint, and used that as a pattern. And I knew I didn't need to buy more fabric, I have PLENTY of that around. So, a few hours of work later (some trial and error was used in the process) I ended up with two covers.
When I got to the point where I had serged the inside seams, and hemmed the bottom I realized that even though there was a front and back side for each I really couldn't tell which side was which without careful consideration to angles. I had some iron on appliques around, so, easy-peasy embellishment / front side marker.
The main difference between the two covers (aside from the obvious fabric, shape and size differences) was that I decided to stiffen up the serger cover (I didn't want it to be too limp over the thread) with some fusible interfacing, and I put a basic slit in my sewing machine cover because I usually leave it plugged in (but off) when it's not in use. Now all I have to do is throw them in the wash when they get grimey and I don't have to wash my machine again!
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| Naked (but clean) serger |
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| Naked sewing machine. |
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| Not so naked sewing machine. |
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| Not so naked serger. |
The main difference between the two covers (aside from the obvious fabric, shape and size differences) was that I decided to stiffen up the serger cover (I didn't want it to be too limp over the thread) with some fusible interfacing, and I put a basic slit in my sewing machine cover because I usually leave it plugged in (but off) when it's not in use. Now all I have to do is throw them in the wash when they get grimey and I don't have to wash my machine again!
Monday, August 22, 2011
Little Blog Awards!
I'm super honored to have been given this award by my darling friend LIZ (Frolics From Scratch) Wow! What a great extra encouragement to continue blogging. I love that I can see the other sides of people and their immense creativity and excitement about the big and little things in their daily lives.
This award is given to bloggers with under 200 followers. Here are the rules:
1. Thank the giver and link back to them.
I would have given this back to Liz, but, that's against the rules I think. I love how our friendship has grown to this place and most of it through writing (and now blogging) because of our almost consistence distance. I do think that if we lived closer together we would make way to much mischief.
2. Reveal your 5 picks and let them know by leaving a comment on their blog.
3. Copy and paste award to your blog.
Done!
4. Have faith that your followers will pass the love to other bloggers.
Yes, indeed!
5. And most of all have Bloggity-blog fun.
Monday, July 11, 2011
Untitled
I don't know what to call this post, but I have to reflect on something I observed today.
I went to Target today, and while running errands are never really my favorite activity, today was looking to be less fun than usual. Earlier at Staples the guy checking me out had some issues figuring out how to do the extra teacher discount thing, which isn't a big deal, I'll wait around for an extra bit because it means I got 20 boxes of pencil caps at a penny a piece instead of a limit of 2 and those eraser caps are like gold. But it was a bit frustrating. Then when I got to Target half the parking lot was gone because they are remodeling, and things weren't where they were before and I couldn't find the things I was looking for, and then the lines to check out were SUPER long. All in all, enough to make me a bit peeved (not seething or anything, but disgruntled).
As I was waiting to check out, the lady in front of me seemed to have some issues checking out. It seemed her account was too low for her to purchase her items. I watched her take an item out, try her card again, and not have it work. This happened a few times. At the end, she had only two items left, toilet paper and diapers. It was heartbreaking, watching her try and decide which she could give up, and I'm sure she really did need both. Meanwhile, the line behind me was growing. Before I could even really register what was happening behind or in front of me, the lady behind me in line comes around and gives the lady checking out a $20 bill (her balance with the two items was just over $20). The donor said something quietly to the lady, something like, "I have grandbabies, I understand". She told me that she is able to do this for someone else that needs it. The donor then moved to the other line that was empty. After the first lady checked out, she looked around for the donor and gave her a big hug, (I may be wrong but I think there was some moisture in her eyes).
I don't know why it's affecting me so much. Maybe it's because you so rarely see people doing things like that, helping others in need. I know lots of people who give to charity, or volunteer, but this seemed different. Maybe it's because the gal checking out didn't look like the typical charity case. It brings home the economic difficulties that are happening now - the middle class poverty. The living pay check to pay check. The struggle of the elderly when they have to decide between their medication and food. It makes me feel guilty to be buying without concern things I could live without. And it makes me so grateful to be financially secure, to have a job that I don't really have to worry about losing anymore, with great health coverage, and doing something I enjoy, and to not be in constant fear of debt consuming my life as I have no student loans, or credit card debt and at least for now, no mortgage or car payments to worry about either. I have the luxury of buying organic, free-range, good quality, local, fresh food. I can travel and sew and give gifts. But now I think I should be doing more. Pay it forward. Maybe this auction and the quilts for that are a part of it, hopefully the Terrace Park staff can continue to do work like this. Ruth mentioned making quilts for cancer patients or other kids in need. I think though, if I can take this giving and community service idea and bring it into the classroom and teach kids to be thoughtful of others and do community service I can make a bigger impact and help more. I think that will be the nugget I take out of today's experience.
I went to Target today, and while running errands are never really my favorite activity, today was looking to be less fun than usual. Earlier at Staples the guy checking me out had some issues figuring out how to do the extra teacher discount thing, which isn't a big deal, I'll wait around for an extra bit because it means I got 20 boxes of pencil caps at a penny a piece instead of a limit of 2 and those eraser caps are like gold. But it was a bit frustrating. Then when I got to Target half the parking lot was gone because they are remodeling, and things weren't where they were before and I couldn't find the things I was looking for, and then the lines to check out were SUPER long. All in all, enough to make me a bit peeved (not seething or anything, but disgruntled).
As I was waiting to check out, the lady in front of me seemed to have some issues checking out. It seemed her account was too low for her to purchase her items. I watched her take an item out, try her card again, and not have it work. This happened a few times. At the end, she had only two items left, toilet paper and diapers. It was heartbreaking, watching her try and decide which she could give up, and I'm sure she really did need both. Meanwhile, the line behind me was growing. Before I could even really register what was happening behind or in front of me, the lady behind me in line comes around and gives the lady checking out a $20 bill (her balance with the two items was just over $20). The donor said something quietly to the lady, something like, "I have grandbabies, I understand". She told me that she is able to do this for someone else that needs it. The donor then moved to the other line that was empty. After the first lady checked out, she looked around for the donor and gave her a big hug, (I may be wrong but I think there was some moisture in her eyes).
I don't know why it's affecting me so much. Maybe it's because you so rarely see people doing things like that, helping others in need. I know lots of people who give to charity, or volunteer, but this seemed different. Maybe it's because the gal checking out didn't look like the typical charity case. It brings home the economic difficulties that are happening now - the middle class poverty. The living pay check to pay check. The struggle of the elderly when they have to decide between their medication and food. It makes me feel guilty to be buying without concern things I could live without. And it makes me so grateful to be financially secure, to have a job that I don't really have to worry about losing anymore, with great health coverage, and doing something I enjoy, and to not be in constant fear of debt consuming my life as I have no student loans, or credit card debt and at least for now, no mortgage or car payments to worry about either. I have the luxury of buying organic, free-range, good quality, local, fresh food. I can travel and sew and give gifts. But now I think I should be doing more. Pay it forward. Maybe this auction and the quilts for that are a part of it, hopefully the Terrace Park staff can continue to do work like this. Ruth mentioned making quilts for cancer patients or other kids in need. I think though, if I can take this giving and community service idea and bring it into the classroom and teach kids to be thoughtful of others and do community service I can make a bigger impact and help more. I think that will be the nugget I take out of today's experience.
Makayla turns 6 (part 2)
Makayla's birthday and birthday party has come and gone so I can share what I got her this year. Like I mentioned before, I didn't want to get her just another THING, and she's very creative and artistic. I had been doing a lot of sewing already this summer, so I didn't sew something this time, but sewing was definitively a part of it. It's a four part gift this year.
Part one: My First Sewing Kit by ALEX.
Includes all the things you would need to get started on a project, including the fabric and stuffing.
Includes all the things you would need to get started on a project, including the fabric and stuffing.
Part 2: American Girl Crafts: Sew & Stuff Kit - Bears.
Includes a bear for Makayla and one for her doll.
Includes a bear for Makayla and one for her doll.
Part 3: Sewing School: 21 Sewing Projects Kids Will Love To Make Book
Includes lots of kid friendly projects that are all hand sewn.
Includes lots of kid friendly projects that are all hand sewn.
And Part 4 doesn't have a picture. I told mom that I would help her with any of the projects she wanted to do. Which turned out to be a good thing, since apparently Makayla has told her mom that mom needed to take a class to learn how to sew so she could teach Makayla. So at some point I'll either go down to her house, or she can come up to our place and I'll help Makayla learn how to sew.
Thursday, July 07, 2011
Just because I was bored
Today I really had nothing I had to do. I could have vacuumed, but the dog hair would be back in a matter of hours. I did do the dishes. I didn't want to go to school or drive across the state again. So, after putzing around for a while, I decided that since we had lots of scraps of fabric left over from the quilts, I would make a pillowcase for each of the two auction quilts. They aren't that hard, and there are a lot of ideas out there on the internet, but I decided to go fairly simple, because really, the quilts are pretty simple too, the fabric is what makes them look more complex. Anyways, a couple of hours of playing around and sewing and I've got two pillowcases. The "Mary" pillowcase didn't take as long because I figured it out when I did the "Joseph" pillowcase.
Sunday, July 03, 2011
Makayla turns 6
Makayla, the daughter of our friends Brian and Jenna Olson (parents also to little Jordan who I recently made things for seen here and and here and here) turned 6 today. She's a recent kindergarten graduate, and quite the stylish and creative little girl.
I've known her since around her first birthday, and I was thinking back to her birthday presents (at least from me and Robert). The first birthday I didn't really know her or her parents, so I gave her a crocheted hat I found at the Edmonds Farmers Market. I can't remember what we did for her 2nd birthday. But for her 3rd I went a big with this teepee. It was quite the project, and I really do like the way it turned out. Her 4th birthday I was out of town for (at library camp - I made the tee-pee the year before BEFORE I left for camp) and we got her some store-bought, but cute, princessey dress up clothes. Last year, for her 5th I wanted to address the artistic side of her and went with an artist roll. I have to say I was a bit sad to have to give it up.
So this year she turned 6, and her party isn't for a week. I really don't like doing the Toys R Us kind of presents. They have their place, and I think some of our other friends kids may not appreciate the home-made kind of presents as much. I grew up in a very different way from Robert, which is fine, but I have really started to appreciate my childhood recently having seen how the kids in my class are over-exposed (in my opinion) to electronics and mass media things. I grew up in the woods. TV was not a big part of our life, it was there, but it wasn't what everything was centered around. And when we got a computer, it wasn't either. We had 25 acres of woods and a big garden and my dad built a tree house and we had a sandbox. I remember setting up the test in the "back yard" and just reading in there for hours. Our window seat in the living room had storage underneath and there were maybe only a few things that even had batteries - there were lots of legos and blocks, stuffed animals, and trucks for my brother and dolls and dress up items for me, and crayons and coloring books and puzzles and educational games and marbles and puppet houses and whatnot. Even after we had moved from this small town, years later I was back and in the library and the librarians remembered me because we were so frequent of visitors. So, I don't really go for the new, modern, hip kinds of things that most people go for on kid's birthdays. I like the practical, hands-on, creative play type of birthday presents that stand the test of time and don't just break into little plastic pieces.
This year's present is yet to be revealed in person, so it won't make itself known here yet. But you can bet it won't be a Barbie. I just hope it's appreciated.
I've known her since around her first birthday, and I was thinking back to her birthday presents (at least from me and Robert). The first birthday I didn't really know her or her parents, so I gave her a crocheted hat I found at the Edmonds Farmers Market. I can't remember what we did for her 2nd birthday. But for her 3rd I went a big with this teepee. It was quite the project, and I really do like the way it turned out. Her 4th birthday I was out of town for (at library camp - I made the tee-pee the year before BEFORE I left for camp) and we got her some store-bought, but cute, princessey dress up clothes. Last year, for her 5th I wanted to address the artistic side of her and went with an artist roll. I have to say I was a bit sad to have to give it up.
So this year she turned 6, and her party isn't for a week. I really don't like doing the Toys R Us kind of presents. They have their place, and I think some of our other friends kids may not appreciate the home-made kind of presents as much. I grew up in a very different way from Robert, which is fine, but I have really started to appreciate my childhood recently having seen how the kids in my class are over-exposed (in my opinion) to electronics and mass media things. I grew up in the woods. TV was not a big part of our life, it was there, but it wasn't what everything was centered around. And when we got a computer, it wasn't either. We had 25 acres of woods and a big garden and my dad built a tree house and we had a sandbox. I remember setting up the test in the "back yard" and just reading in there for hours. Our window seat in the living room had storage underneath and there were maybe only a few things that even had batteries - there were lots of legos and blocks, stuffed animals, and trucks for my brother and dolls and dress up items for me, and crayons and coloring books and puzzles and educational games and marbles and puppet houses and whatnot. Even after we had moved from this small town, years later I was back and in the library and the librarians remembered me because we were so frequent of visitors. So, I don't really go for the new, modern, hip kinds of things that most people go for on kid's birthdays. I like the practical, hands-on, creative play type of birthday presents that stand the test of time and don't just break into little plastic pieces.
This year's present is yet to be revealed in person, so it won't make itself known here yet. But you can bet it won't be a Barbie. I just hope it's appreciated.
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