Thanksgiving-less

For the first time I can remember in my life, there is no plan for anything special for Thanksgiving.  For the majority of my years the day was spent with my immediate family - mom, dad, and brother.  Lots of pumpkin pie, and vegetarian staples.  I can remember one year we were moving shortly after Thanksgiving and we spent it with friends, but still, it was with family and it was special.  Then there was the one year in the apartment in Bellingham with Hoopla and Kestra where we made the garlic mashed potatoes that were divine and paired them with burritos and went to the movies.  Still, a special day. There was a year in Yelm with a family that was not mine that I thought was something more than it turned out to be, but still, it was planned, and it was a special day.  There was the year I arrived back in Spokane at some ungodly early hour after far too many hours in the backseat of a far to small car - but, it was spent with family and special in its own way.  And there were the number of years in Seattle - with Robert's family and friends.  But this year, it turns out, we have no plans at all.  What we thought was going to happen was changed, or canceled, or, something.  I don't know the details, nor do I really want to, I'm feeling bereft as it is.  This is one of my favorite holidays - maybe because it never was ruined with the commercialism the haunts other holidays thereby making it one that my parents actually celebrated fully.  It is a holiday filled with cooking together, wonderful smells, hearty food, and a feeling of thankfulness and appreciation that seems to get lost in the other holidays.  I could make up some special food on Thursday, I have the day off after all, but, it's not the same without other people to share it with, and Robert doesn't have Wednesday or Friday off so going out of town just doesn't work.  So I'm feeling a bit heartbroken and sad about the loss of this special holiday this year.