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I don't know what to call this post, but I have to reflect on something I observed today.

I went to Target today, and while running errands are never really my favorite activity, today was looking to be less fun than usual.  Earlier at Staples the guy checking me out had some issues figuring out how to do the extra teacher discount thing, which isn't a big deal, I'll wait around for an extra bit because it means I got 20 boxes of pencil caps at a penny a piece instead of a limit of 2 and those eraser caps are like gold. But it was a bit frustrating.   Then when I got to Target half the parking lot was gone because they are remodeling, and things weren't where they were before and I couldn't find the things I was looking for, and then the lines to check out were SUPER long.  All in all, enough to make me a bit peeved (not seething or anything, but disgruntled).

As I was waiting to check out, the lady in front of me seemed to have some issues checking out.  It seemed her account was too low for her to purchase her items.  I watched her take an item out, try her card again, and not have it work.  This happened a few times. At the end, she had only two items left, toilet paper and diapers.  It was heartbreaking, watching her try and decide which she could give up, and I'm sure she really did need both.  Meanwhile, the line behind me was growing.  Before I could even really register what was happening behind or in front of me, the lady behind me in line comes around and gives the lady checking out a $20 bill (her balance with the two items was just over $20).   The donor said something quietly to the lady, something like, "I have grandbabies, I understand".  She told me that she is able to do this for someone else that needs it. The donor then moved to the other line that was empty.  After the first lady checked out, she looked around for the donor and gave her a big hug, (I may be wrong but I think there was some moisture in her eyes).

I don't know why it's affecting me so much. Maybe it's because you so rarely see people doing things like that, helping others in need.  I know lots of people who give to charity, or volunteer, but this seemed different.  Maybe it's because the gal checking out didn't look like the typical charity case.  It brings home the economic difficulties that are happening now - the middle class poverty.  The living pay check to pay check.  The struggle of the elderly when they have to decide between their medication and food.  It makes me feel guilty to be buying without concern things I could live without.  And it makes me so grateful to be financially secure, to have a job that I don't really have to worry about losing anymore, with great health coverage, and doing something I enjoy, and to not be in constant fear of debt consuming my life as I have no student loans, or credit card debt and at least for now, no mortgage or car payments to worry about either.  I have the luxury of buying organic, free-range, good quality, local, fresh food.  I can travel and sew and give gifts.  But now I think I should be doing more.  Pay it forward.  Maybe this auction and the quilts for that are a part of it, hopefully the Terrace Park staff can continue to do work like this. Ruth mentioned making quilts for cancer patients or other kids in need.  I think though, if I can take this giving and community service idea and bring it into the classroom and teach kids to be thoughtful of others and do community service I can make a bigger impact and help more.  I think that will be the nugget I take out of today's experience.