inspired

Monday morning I was not wanting to go back to school. I did not think I could do my job any longer. I was frustrated and angry and hurt and tired. But I did. I got through it, and I'm stronger for it. But today was a different day all together. Hard in some ways, not a perfect day in the least. However, it made me realize why I teach, why I love to teach.

It was a combination of small things, and big things (at least in teacher world). Small things - the weather was a perfect fall, crisp, day. My lunch (which very spur of the moment) was tasty, and I got to bond a bit with one of the teachers in the school that I really respect and look up to and try to emulate. I mentioned something, and then said "I'll live" - they were probably talking and I was waiting for them to stop, or something, but one girl said that I'd better live, they would be very sad if I died, and mentioned that they thought I was awesome, and that I always wore cute clothes. Leave it to a 5th grade girl to mention that as an attribute, but, never the less, it made me smile and happy inside, because though I don't think I'm a slob or totally unfashionable, I don't think I'm all that fantastic, I tend to wear comfortable clothes, and try to stay on the professional end of the spectrum. Small things, all, but important.

Big things. Two.
1. We had our first book club sessions today. They've been waiting for this for a number of days, partly because the books took a while to get in (the final set came in over the weekend). The anticipation level was high, we talked about what a book club looked like, what discussion should consist of, LOTS of information. They had to break down their book into parts so that they would all finish their books on the same date. Today was book club meeting day one. There are 6 or 7 groups of students reading Jules Verne books, and they were talking, and what I was surprised by, they were talking about the books, and not just talking. They were on task, and other than a few miscommunications about which chapters they were supposed to read (did the introduction count as one of the two chapters we were supposed to read?, etc) they were all prepared. It was so gratifiying to see all the planning paying off, and the questions they were bringing up in their group were one that I might have brought up if I were leading their discussion, but I wasn't. They were. It was wonderful.
2. We started social studies for the first time this year - we did two science units first - and I didn't have the classroom set of books, so I had to figure out something related until the other class was finished with the books. So, there was this simulation unit - Discovery, about colonists coming to the new world to make a new life. There are fate cards that they have to choose each round, and they can trade or fight, and they have to with their team make decisions which may influence if their colony fails or thrives. I was excited about it - it was interactive, and wasn't just sitting reading a text book. But better yet - they were excited about it. We got into groups of 5 and 6, and rearranged the seating chart to fit that. They were excited, I was excited. This is right up their alley.

And I know that my parents are good people, and caring parents of tweens. Tweens who are begininng to not talk to their parents about everything, and the parents are sometimes having trouble dealing with this lack of knowledge and control over their babies life. I understand that they want the best for their student, and most of my parents see that their kid is getting that. A few need more resassurance, but I think at least today, that I am prepared to show them that. Even though there are 29 of them, 29 tweens, and they are full of changing hormones, and are going down the path of teasing (which hopefully we can deal with) they are all great kids who are dealing with a very confusing, complex world. My goal for them for the year was writing related, but it's not any more. If they come out of the year with one thing, I want them to be aware of other people, and respectful and considerate, and self-confident and strong. They are the majority of the brightest students district wide in their grade (1/2 a class in addtion to them) and they have a great deal of pressure on them, and they can acheieve great things, but, as I told them (and they thought was fantastic that I referenced Spiderman) - with great power comes great responsibility. These kids are so bright that they don't need me to teach them math, or history, they could learn more than I could teach them in a year by themselves, but they can't get the social responsiblity on their own. That is my goal. It will be hard, I don't know if I can do it. But, I have great power, and I have the responsibility to create the best future leaders in careers across the spectrum.